Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
