Taylor Swift is so right about you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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