I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
