were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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