Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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