I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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