kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
