i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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