Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
