I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Randomize
