I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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