what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
