We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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