He disabled his match.com account in front of me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
