my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
we should paint friendship bongs
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