The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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