Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Vodka?
Forever.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
