Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
