just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
