I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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