She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
