In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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