I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
