one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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