That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
