The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
