you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
