What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
