Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
