Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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