Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
