You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
