tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
