is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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