we have officially lost it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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