Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
