Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
