Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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