Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
