I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
