We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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