I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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