Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
