The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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