she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
