I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I want to make a zoo with you.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
