Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
