i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
