and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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