its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
