i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
