you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
