It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
