Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
