Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
